Endings, doubt, and new paths

Spring 2025. I discovered that I was greatly underpaid after several months of LinkedIN recommending me new jobs. Reading their job description, I noticed that at least 80% of the requirements I have been doing myself too. The more I studied job ads and the more connections working in the field I acquired, the more I noticed that my job incorporates at least 3 roles even if this company is smaller then mostly all these, each of them paid with minimum 10.000 more than mine. N

It's easy to say that someone is toxic when they they clearly display such behaviours like these: they're rude, dishonest, gossiping, judgemental, quick to start a fight, and the list can continue almost endlessly. It's also easy to say that someone is the best human on the planet if they display the opposites and are: kind, calm, smiling, always with a positive attitude. Have you ever met someone like this and think from the first go: "Wow, this is such a horrible person!"?

What if I'll never be loved again? What if I'll always be alone? What if I won't be able to live by myself becuase I won't have enough money? What if I won't be able to find any friends anymore? What if I stayed here instead and tried to make this work, although it's been so many years already and everything is still the same? What if...? What if...? These questions don't appear all at once. They'll pop up, creeping quietly especially at night. They'll keep you awake and stuc